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Category: Kill Me Quick!
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Some Top Reviews
My books have had some very tasty reviews lately, which is nice.
Over at The Dark Time, ace crime writer Elgin Bleeker reviews Last Year’s Man and says:
‘Picking up a novel by Paul D. Brazill, a reader can expect fast paced action, humorous observations, funny dialogue, and a seedy, noir quality. His book, Last Year’s Man, delivers all that and something else: a touch of melancholy, a bit of sadness.
Tommy Bennett, an aging gun for hire, reluctantly comes to the conclusion that he is too old for his chosen profession. That profession is killing people and doing it efficiently with no trace of his involvement.
The story opens with Tommy on a job. A moment’s negligence on his part screws up a nice clean hit. It leaves him wondering if it is time to get out of the business. His next job goes wrong, too, but in a much bigger way, and Tommy is no longer wondering. He has to quit and run.
With little money and no passport, there are few places Tommy can go. He chooses to return to his hometown, a small city by the sea that has seen better days. Brazill highlights the city’s decay as Tommy takes in the town for the first time in many years. He gets off the train and notes the shops that are gone and the once proud statute in of “an old civic dignitary,” with a road cone on its head, and “the remnants of a Chinese take-away in its outstretched hand.”
He isn’t in town five minutes when he stumbles into a killing in a crummy bar. Soon, he is back in the company of violent crooks and con men he knew in his youth. But Tommy has to make a living and the local criminals remember him as a guy who can make things happen.
The slangy speech of Brazill’s characters not only gave me a laugh, but also provided an instant picture of the speaker. In a few words, Brazill describes characters. Of an underworld dame, Tommy says, “Bev smiled but there was the familiar razor-sharp look in her eyes.” Placing razor and eyes in the same sentence made me cringe and I knew just what Bev looked like. Later, Tommy calls a local heavy, “an ex-copper who was so bent you could use him to unblock your toilet.”
Last Year’s Man is a raw story seen through the eyes of Tommy Bennett, and is another fine job from Paul D. Brazill. I rarely say this about a book, but I wish this one was longer so I could spend more time with Tommy. ‘
At Amazon.com, Dr Nicola Parry gave Kill Me Quick FIVE STARS and said:
‘Wow, I loved this noirvella!
You definitely don’t have to be British to love this book, but I think being British will make you love it even more—especially if you were born and raised in a decent-sized city. And the cover art is classic “British seaside” — great choice!
As I began reading it, I had so many flashbacks to my youth and the locals and cultures of my northern hometown: the seedy pubs; the music; the weekend club scene; musicians who never seemed to take off, figuratively or literally; and the neighbourhood criminals whom everyone knew about, but avoided. Of course, the parallels will exist in every city in every country, but I definitely think this story will light an extra-special spark for fellow Brits!
And, for most of us, this book takes that hometown memory a few steps further—right into the heart of the local criminal underworld. Really dark humour, amazing character names that will make you laugh out loud, and a hilarious linking of plots as the story draws to its conclusion.‘
Crime writer Aidan Thorn also reviewed Kill Me Quick and said:
‘When it comes to the novella Paul Brazill is one of the best and Kill Me Quick doesn’t disappoint. Following Mark around Seatown, he’s not sure what’s going on the story unfolds for the reader as it does for Mark. There’s a great cast of people that Mark does and doesn’t want to see from his past. The book uses music to set an atmosphere of a time when things were much better for Mark, he used to be someone, sort of. Now he’s just a face in a town he used to know and there’s crime following him about as he just wants to have a beer and a chat. All the usual Brazill wit and twists are here. Well worth your time.
And D. S. Atkinson said of Supernatural Noir:
‘This mix concept comes off really well. I wasn’t sure how the stories would function, but they were fun and interesting. Just enough blood to keep things lively too. Good stuff.‘
Kill Me Quick is BACK TO LIFE!
My seaside noir KILL ME QUICK has been rebooted and suited by the folks at Fahrenheit 13 and Farhrenheit Press, and you can pick it up at a discount price if you buy it direct from the publishers.
The eBook is less than a quid and the paperback is less than a fiver!
Can’t fall off!
Get the eBook here and the paperback here.
Or you can grab it from the Amazons, if you’re that way inclined.
‘We’re all lying in the gutter, but some of us are staring at the spaces between the stars…
Seatown may not have a lot going for it – apart from the Roy Orbison lookalikes and Super Seventies Special every Thursday night, of course – but it is at least the place Mark Hammonds calls home. And after a decade away, it’s the place he returns to when he has nowhere else to go.
From dead bikers to dodgy drug deals, from one downbeat bar to another, from strippers to gangsters and back again: the luckless former musician bounces from one misdeed to the next along with a litany of old acquaintances, almost as though he never left. And if only he can shake off everybody who wants to kill, maim or otherwise hurt him, maybe he could even think about staying.
After all, there’s no place like home, eh?
“Gritty, fast-paced and hilarious. The dialogue is full of sharp one liners and insightful asides, and the characters are all larger than life. An absurd story told with such finesse that even the most over-the-top scenes feel real. My guess is you’ll read it in one sitting.” – SW Lauden (author of Bad Citizen Corporation andCrosswise)
“Dark and delicious… With ‘Kill Me Quick!’ the author has provided yet another delicious plate of cool cynicism, peppered with spicy dialogue and an inky black-humour sauce. Paul D. Brazill’s Seatown backdrop is luridly drawn; the characters are a blend of hopeless, scary and hilarious, while the verbal exchanges are as sharp and dry as glass of Northumberland moonshine on the rocks. The gritty darkness of the north-east has never been so much fun. Fabulous.” – Dominic Milne (author of Act of Contrition)
“Fahrenheit 13 have done an excellent job in assembling top quality novellas in this series and Paul Brazill’s offering is no exception. They say home is where the heart is….if you’re a character in a novella by Paul D. Brazill that heart will probably soon be removed and by a gangster with vicious intent! As always with this author’s stories it’s entertaining, witty and always a fun read. A great crime caper that is a steal at the price. Five stars.” – Darren Sant (author of Dark Voices and various Radgepacket tales from the legendary Byker Books)
“A smart and insane ride through the underbelly of crime. Told with his characteristic punch, this is as gritty and as hard boiled as it gets and Brazill is a master at it. By turn humorous and captivating this will keep you guessing. A Noir novel textured with local culture and razor sharp dialogue. Highly Recommended.” – Richard Godwin (author of Wrong Crowd and Confessions of a Hitman)
“This novella is a crazy crime jukebox that takes in everything from crooners to croakers without missing a beat…. Get it. If you have anything like a sense of humour and a heart as black as the inside of a body bag, you’ll love it. Besides, best corpse disposal trick ever.” – Graham Wynd (author of Extricate and Satan’s Sorority)
“The story winds tight as Hammond’s life unravels. Brazill uses his trademark wordplay and humour to add extra layers to the experience and manages to draw out laughs from the most uncomfortable situations. There’s also a vast soundtrack…. If I were to select a song to sum up this novella, Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll would be my pick and, if they’re elements you enjoy in your noir, this is the book for you. Terrific fun.” – Nigel Bird (author of Southsiders and Dirty Old Town & Other Stories)
“An oddball crime book with pitch black humor and wordplay while the out of luck lowlifes run from one unlucky event to the next. Everything is delivered with that dry kind of understatement only the Brits have mastered… where even the strangest situations are funny even they are not funny at all.” – Miranda (booklikes.com)’
Martin Stanley picks Kill Me Quick! as one of his Top Five Reads of 2017
Martin gives an end of year report regarding his own wrting and picks five fave reads from 2017, one of which is Kill Me Quick!
‘Kill Me Quick by Paul D. Brazill: You can always rely on Paul Brazill for a nifty turn of phrase, a superb one-liner, or a nice piece of description. He also delivers cool plots and memorable characters and Kill Me Quick is no exception. When an ageing two-hit wonder musician gets his hand busted in London, he returns home to a seedy town on the northeast coast (basically Hartlepool in everything but name) and gets caught up in all manner of nefarious hijinks. It’s short tale with plenty of meat on its bones and more entertainment per page than many writers in an entire book. If you haven’t read Brazill yet then what the hell are you waiting for. A cracking comic thriller from a master of the form.’
Cheap Paperbacks With FREE Worldwide Delivery
The best thing about The Book Depository for many of us is that you can get paperback books at discount prices and with FREE delivery worldwide. And a few of mine are cheap there at the moment, if you’re that way inclined..
Guns Of Brixton is £5.68/ $7.50
Cold London Blues is £5.75/ $7.59
Kill Me Quick! is £6.35/ $8.38
Too Many Crooks is £6.49/ 8.56
The Big Bratkovsky reviews Kill Me Quick!
Over at Amazon.com, Renato Bratkovic says:
‘This is another little literary treasure’
99p eBooks
I have a fistful of eBooks that you can pick up for a mere 99p at Amazon.co.uk
When high-class fence Leslie Hawkins meets Peter Rhatigan in a sleazy London pub, he offers her the chance to get her hands on the Totenkopfring, a legendary piece of World War Two memorabilia. However, after a violent encounter with a member of a biker gang, things soon spiral wildly and dangerously out of control. Meanwhile in Poland, Dr Anna Nowak finds an amnesiac Englishman half-dead in the snow…
Too Many Crooks by Paul D. Brazill is a fast-moving and action-packed cocktail of bodies, bullets and death-black comedy.
In snow smothered Warsaw, Luke Case, a boozy English hack with a dark secret, starts a
dangerous affair with a gangster’s wife. Case escapes to the sweltering Spanish heat where he meets a colourful cast of characters, including a mysterious torch singer and a former East End villain with a criminal business proposition. While in stormy Toulouse, he encounters a blast from the past that is positively seismic which forces him to return to England and confront his past.
Seatown may not have a lot going for it – apart from the Roy Orbison lookalikes and Super Seventies Special every Thursday night, of course – but it is at least the place Mark Hammonds calls home. And after a decade away, it’s the place he returns to when he has nowhere else to go.
From dead bikers to dodgy drug deals, from one downbeat bar to another, from strippers to gangsters and back again: the luckless former musician bounces from one misdeed to the next along with a litany of old acquaintances, almost as though he never left. And if only he can shake off everybody who wants to kill, maim or otherwise hurt him, maybe he could even think about staying.
English writer Paul D Brazill’s 13 Shots Of Noir is a collection of short stories in the vein of
Roald Dahl, The Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents.The first story, “The Tut”, was nominated for a 2010 Spinetingler Award, while the story “Anger Management” was chosen as one of the Predators and Editors top twenty crime stories.
Crime, horror and dark fiction are contained within the pages of 13 Shots Of Noir.
Ryan Bracha Reviews Kill Me Quick!
Over at the Amazons and Goodreads, Ryan Bracha says:
‘Paul Danger Brazill is a writer’s writer. Universally respected throughout the literary scene. He writes with a nostalgia that I haven’t seen anywhere else, and up to now I haven’t read a thing of his that, however short it may be, wasn’t magnificent.
Kill Me Quick! is another fine addition to his arsenal.
Mark Hammonds is a former musician who’d achieved minor success with his band, but has hit hard (and mostly unsuccessfully criminal) times, returning to his home town, Seatown. Immediately on his return he is back in with his old friends, in his old haunts, doing his level best to remain as drunk as possible, living a quiet and easy life. Unfortunately for Mark, he just cant seem to stop stumbling into other people’s trouble.
Brazill’s USP is his ability to use his writing as a character in itself. It oozes sleazy personality and wit in every paragraph, every pun-filled comeback, and every criminal act. Where it works best is when he uses it against a backdrop of the lawless Seatown. It’s like Sin City starring Sid James instead of Mickey Rourke. Kenneth Williams instead of Bruce Willis. It’s Sid City. It sounds horrific? It’s not, it’s an absolute joy to behold.
Five very easy stars. Get it and read it.’
Some Top Reviews!
Over at Amazon.co.uk, Robert Cowan reviews Cold London Blues and says:
‘Brazill doesn’t disappoint with this latest crime caper written in his signature style, mixing noirish punk menace and Sid James humour. Featuring an array of wonderful characters, both old and new, high end dialogue and killer one liners, only Brazill could carry off a crime story about stolen comics with such panache. Ace’
Meanwhile, Mark Bickley says:
‘Gritty writing, as we have come to expect from Brazill. A juxtaposition of characters that are both comedy and tragedy, played out amidst florid descriptive prose capturing the tedium of London city streets.’
And Pat McDonald has reviewed Kill Me Quick! She says:
‘I read this book over New Year needing something to cheer me up! I’ve read a lot of his books now and knew it would be maximum entertainment. Yes gritty with a turn of phrase guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. I love the names of his characters: the likes of Ava Banana and Bryn Laden – excellent. Based in a dilapidated seaside town that has seen better days hilariously depicted as are most of his characters. Mark Hammonds once upon a time something in the music industry until his unfortunate accident to his guitar playing hand, is back in his home town. I love the music references along the way that I can imagine if made into a film would be played during it. They don’t get much funnier than this and even the seedier of his characters has time to stop off for a bit of philosophy or word derivation along the way. His women characters are tough cookies and always fond of wearing red lipstick (or is that the author’s fetish?) Nice one again, keep them coming Mr Brazill!
Kevin McNamara Reviews Kill Me Quick!
Over at Amazon.com he says:
‘I very much liked this book by the fine author Paul Brazill. A former rock musician returns to his hometown after an injury. He quickly finds himself entangled with the mob, a motorcycle gang, a double crossing ex-band mate and a number of interesting characters from his past. Mister Brazill’s fine writing ties all of this together with a touch of humor for good measure. I enjoyed this trip to Seatown very much and I look forward to his next book.’
Lee Sykes Reviews Kill Me Quick!
Over at Amazon.co.uk. ace crime writer Lee Sykes gives Kill Me Quick! a five star review and says:
‘Brazill delivers us a black comedy crime romp through Seatown. A place with grim surroundings, lashings of one liners and great dialogue.Typical Brazill offerings, and if you don’t know what that means I suggest you go and find out for yourself. A great read that I flew through. Recommended.’
Kill Me Quick! is only 99c / 99p !
‘
CLIP: Kill Me Quick!
‘He changed stations and found a phone in talk show. The host and callers were discussing the upcoming Seatown elections. It was getting pretty heated.
‘One of my old teachers is standing in this election,’ said Mark. ‘A bloke called Pike.’
‘Aha,’ said Roy.
He slowed at a zebra crossing and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as an old woman with a tartan shopping trolley doddered across the road.
‘I don’t follow politics myself,’ he said. ‘Which party is he in?’
‘GBIP,’ said Mark. ‘Not that I know much about them.’
‘They’re a bunch of tossers, I think,’ said Roy.
‘Aren’t they all?’
‘Probably. People put too much faith in politicians to sort out their lives.’
‘Aye. Life’s all about playing a bad hand of cards well,’ said Mark.
‘True, true Barney Mcgrew. Was he a decent teacher?’ said Roy.
‘A bit of a tosser, as I remember.’
‘Should do alright as a politician, then.’
‘Yep. A smooth career transition, that.’’
We’re all lying in the gutter. But some of us are staring at the spaces between the stars…
Seatown may not have a lot going for it – apart from the Roy Orbison lookalikes and Super Seventies Special every Thursday night, of course – but it is at least the place Mark Hammonds calls home. And after a decade away, it’s the place he returns to when he has nowhere else to go.
From dead bikers to dodgy drug deals, from one downbeat bar to another, from strippers to gangsters and back again: the luckless former musician bounces from one misdeed to the next along with a litany of old acquaintances, almost as though he never left. And if only he can shake off everybody who wants to kill, maim or otherwise hurt him, maybe he could even think about staying.
After all, there’s no place like home, eh? 
Grab KILL ME QUICK! at Amazon.com , Amazon.co.uk and some other joints.
More Top Reviews!
Kevin S. Cummings reviews Kill Me Quick! over at his blog. He says:
‘Kill Me Quick! by Paul D. Brazill is #12 in a 13 series list of quality crime novellas published by Number Thirteen Press. The latest Brazill offering goes down like two Alka-Seltzers and spring-water in a crystal tumbler during day two of a three-day hangover.’
Meanwhile, Graham Wynd reviews The Last Laugh and says:
‘From the first to the last you won’t know whether to laugh or wince more but you’ll keep turning the pages until you get to the end and then start badgering the man for more.’
