Stories For Saturday: In The (Reservoir) Dog House by Paul D. Brazill

Bonny is volcanic. She’s so angry that she can hardly speak but, unfortunately for me, hardly is the operative word. As she tries to scrub the blood stains from my best white shirt, she goes on and on about the meal she’d cooked the night before and how long it had taken her to cook it.

She keeps asking me over and over again if I want to live on burgers all my life and why, if I’m going to spend all of my time hanging around a dirty warehouse with a bunch of psychos that look like Blues Brothers rejects, I can’t at least pick up the phone and call to say I’ll be late home.

My head is hurting, my stomach is rumbling and I’m tired. Bonny is starting to sound like a duck quac- quack-quacking, so I turn on the radio hoping it isn’t more ‘Sounds of the Seventies,’ as I’ve really had my fill of that shit the last few days. The DJ’s monotone drone introduces some LA band destroying a Neil Diamond classic so I switch it off again.

Noticing that the heat from Bonny’s eruption has started to cool down, I present her with a bag containing the proceeds of my recent job. When she sees the rare coins in the bag, Bonny’s jaw drops so much you could scrape carpet fluff from it and she lets rip with a string of expletives, so strong that they would even make the young Eddy Murphy blush. Almost tearing off her nurse’s uniform, she runs toward me screaming like a banshee.

Afterwards, when I knowthat it’s safe, I suggest that maybe we could go out for something to eat? We could even try that Hawaiian burger joint that’s just opened up nearby? Hands on hips, Bonny laughs and says, okay as long as I promise not to wear that dumb Speed Racer t-shirt that makes me look like a nerd.

Anything you say, I reply and start to walk into the bathroom before stopping and saying that, shit, if the service in that restaurant is any good today, I might even leave a tip.

 The end.

In The (Reservoir) Dog House first appeared online at Powder Burn Flash. It is also included in the anthology Six Sentences vol 2 .


Stories For Sunday: Amore, Formetta, Peters.

The Garbage Collector by Dani Amore

The Garbage Collector is part private eye, part hit man. He is hired by a group of big shot Detroit lawyers to head off to Florida and track down  their former partner, who has absconded with some important confidential documents.  The missing lawyer is also a former Delta Force vet, however, so things  don’t run too  smoothly. Dani Amore  introduces a cool new character and kicks off a hard- boiled and  fast paced  action series.

Strangeways Here We Come by Cristiana Danila Formetta

A young Italian girl embarks upon a sentimental  journey across the U K, planning to visit all the places that are mentioned in Morrisey’s songs. Along the way she encounters tattooed local boy,  Skinny Terry, and has a brief but passionate affair. Cristiana Danila Formetta’s  touching tale of seizing the day is well told and full of yearning.

The Venusian Vamp by Andrew Peters

Otis King is your common or garden Memphis based Welsh blues guitarist turned private eye.vamp

In The Venusian Vamp he is hired by Ursula – a blues club owner who also happens to be a green-skinned, four-armed Venusian blonde.

Andrew Peters has again given us a wild, witty and immensely enjoyable yarn which also serves as a  great introduction to the world of Otis King.

Stories For Sunday : Black, Krohn, Laity, Rosmus.

There are lots of juicy slices of short fiction out and about the interweb at the moment.

Get stuck into this little lot:

Christopher Black makes his debut at Thrillers, Killers n Chillers with a visceral and lyrical tale of one man’s descent into HELL.

Bydgoszcz born globetrotter Magdalena Krohn is over at Litro with DREAM GUN. A man returns to Thailand to come to terms with the past in a vivid and hard hitting story.

The past hurtles towards the regulars at O’Malley’s bar as fast as a speeding bullet in K A Laity’s ASBO BAMBI which is over at Pulp Metal Magazine.

Pulp Metal Fiction have recently published Death Takes A Snow Day, a collection of short stories by Cindy Rosmus. If you want a sample of Cindy’s writing before buying her collection, then pop over to Shotgun Honey where she gives us a corking bit of flash fiction called BANG,BANG.

There you go! That should help your hangovers!

(The pic is of Warsaw Old Town, by the way)

Stories For Sunday: Walker, Graham & Vaughn

Three corkers this week.

Stephen Walker is a writer who first came to my attention thanks to his excellent and addictive Steve Does Comics blog . Well, he’s just published a load of ebooks and judging by Carrying he’s someone well worth checking out if your a fan of paranormal/ urban fantasy. Carrying opens with a young woman in a Davy Crocket hat who takes a lift to the thirteenth floor of a twelve story building, where she meets a dead man covered in cobwebs. An then it gets strange.Carrying is smart, funny and an immensely enjoyable introduction to the weird world of Stephen Walker.

Colin Graham is an old boozing partner of mine from when I lived in Warsaw. He’s better know for his hard hitting journalism – which has been published in places like The Guardian and The Moscow Times-and dark noir stories that you can find at A Twist Of Noir and Thrillers, Killers n Chillers. Well, over at Pulp Metal Magazine he gives us an hilarious story of the day in the life of a superhero who copes with his super stresses in the same way that most of us would. He goes to the pub. LOL, as the young people say, and good to see this side of Colin Graham coming through in his writing.

Shotgun Honey has been constantly putting out brilliant, hard-boiled flash fiction since it started up last year. And they score once again  with Edward Vaughn’s whip-crack of a   story, T-Bone’s Girl,  where we enter the rough and ready world of two pals, Dennis and Marty.I’ll say no more other than I loved this story and will deffo keep a bleary eye out for more from Edward Vaughn.